Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
