I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
My feet surprised me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
