I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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