Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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