What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize