First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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