I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
