She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
