Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
