this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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