i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
