p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
barbara walters just said penis...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
