does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
