He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
