why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
