so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
