Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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