# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
