Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
