How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
