You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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