Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
