yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
