if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
