Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
