he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
