she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Randomize