and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My feet surprised me
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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