Are we in a gay sports bar?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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