i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
