Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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