we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
