hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize