better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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