I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
