Christians are straight up FREAKS
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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