She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
is it fun? or sober?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
