wakey wakey hands off snakey
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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