i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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