You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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