I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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