i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
