i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
