Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
