Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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