For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
