didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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