No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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