i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
