i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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