how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
