Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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