You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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