): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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