he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
