I wish I could teleport
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
