Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
