We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
we made out on top of his cat.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
