omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
