just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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