Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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